Jones Family Updates

You shall not go out with haste, . . . for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard — Isaiah 52:12 We had a nice Christmas celebration. I was more fatigued than past years, I also added a family trip to Disneyland last Monday through Wednesday. I've noticed that the time between Halloween and New Year's can be difficult, for the last 5 years I've looked forward to New Year's Day because it marks the completion of a stressful time. I work hard to "Choose Joy" during these days. Kathie is doing well and seems to be comfortable. I continue helping with her evening bath, painting her nails, visiting and praying for her peace. I have been encouraged by people who still lift up Kathie and our family in prayer, I'm reminded to pray outside myself for you. "Security for Today. “You shall not go out with haste . . . .” As we go forth into the coming year, let it not be in the haste of impetuous, forgetful delight, nor with ...

Last Monday, Kathie and I went to the Shopping Mall, this was the second year since our accident I have been able to Christmas shop with her. She seemed interested in the lights, sounds and being out in public. As we have experienced on other trips, people stare or bumping into her chair with an occasional person who gives us a smile. I know the elevators that work best for a wheelchair and how to ask stores to hold packages so everything isn't attached to her chair. She seemed to enjoy the small tastes of soda I gave her at lunch. I put my finger over the end of a drinking straw and allow a very small amount onto her tongue. I was blessed by our time together. Blessings, Dave & Kathie

Psalm 123:1 I lift up my eyes to you, to you who sit enthroned in heaven. Yesterday was Kathie’s 51 Birthday, as my afternoon visit turned into evening; I allowed her bedroom to remain dimly lit. The light change reflected the growing darkness I felt in my soul with deep sadness. I had raised her bed up to my eye level, I stood on her right side, looking into her eyes. Her eyes were big and seemed to follow me as I spoke to her. I said, “Where are you God?” as I kissed her lips longing for a response and whispering, “I love you.” A nurse checking on Kath recognized that he had interrupted because I didn’t have my usual happy response; instead I let him know that this is one of the harder days our family experiences, he understood. I tried to leave Kathie’s room five times before I could finally say “good-night.” That evening I read Ben Patterson’s book on the Psalms and was encouraged by his commentary on verse 1. The reminder that God’s perspective is above mine and He sees Kath...

Last Tuesday Kathie and I participated in a trip to the San Diego Zoo with Care Meridian. We spent the day strolling around the different animal exhibits. I continue to learn about maneuvering a wheelchair around people and avoiding bumps in the road. As our day came to an end, I was able to sit with her and rub her neck in the back of an eating area. I moved from side to side while talking to her, today she followed me back and forth turning her head as I moved. I have been able to see my love for Kathie grow during these years and I count it as a blessing to look into her eyes. Dave

Last Saturday evening, I was able to help with Kathie’s bath after a very busy day. Her long abdominal scar was a chilling, visual reminder of where we were five years ago. Collapsed lungs, spleenectomy, lacerated liver, a severe right brain injury and long days in the ICU. I remember one of the assisting trauma surgeons telling me, “She could have died from any one of those injuries.” After her bath I brushed her hair, let her know how pretty she is then sat with her quietly. I find moments of solace when I sit holding her hand, the next day would be a physically and emotional busy day, my Birthday. October 24, My Utmost for His Highest, “The proper perspective of a servant of God must not simply be as near to the highest as he can get, but it must be the highest. Be careful that you vigorously maintain God’s perspective, and remember that it must be done every day, little by little. Don’t think on a finite level. No outside power can touch the proper perspective. … Paul said,...

Wednesday, I was able to join Kathie, the Staff and fellow residents of Care Meridian at a farm for their monthly outing. We looked at the pumpkin patch, the small animals and sat in the shade of a large tree, another nice trip. I have mentioned to you that occasionally we meet someone on these trips that takes the time to talk to us. This day it was a woman from a retirement home who said, “I said a prayer for her” as she handed me a bottle of water. I am always struck as “God engineers our circumstances” through the people we meet. Later I watched as she and her friend struggled to walk around the farm yet she still smiled at us. Hebrews 12:1 (New International Version) God Disciplines His Sons. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. “The race marked out for us,” carries a frustrating meaning for me, I contin...

Here is my much underlined quote from My Utmost for His Highest, "We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life— those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength." Madison is visiting two colleges this weekend, Hannah received school awards at an assembly yesterday and both are settling into school. I attended their Back to School Nights, met teachers and said hello to friends, many we've known since the girls were in Kindergarten. Recently I have scheduled my time to help with Kathie's evening whirlpool bath. Aside from turning on the water-jets and spraying water all over the room, into her face and generally creating pandemonium, I am learning this facet of her care. She calmly gave me a look as if to say, "this is supposed to be relaxing." Kath enjoys the massage as I wash her ha...

Last Tuesday Kathie and I visited Coronado Hospital a little over a year since moving her to Care Meridian. We replayed last years trip where the staff and patients ride the ferry boat over and I met them at the dock. From the Landing, Kathie and I strolled over to the Hospital. This year we had the new wheelchair and this portion of the trip was much smoother and comfortable for Kath. I had let her old roommate, Maria, know that we were planning a visit, her caregiver and mom meet us also. You might remember from past posts that Maria and I share a sense of humor and she is known as my "favorite brat." It was good to talk with them, we spent a year and a half in that hospital room and we shared a lot of life events, up and downs together. Madison and Hannah's Christmas card pictures are still posted on Maria's bulletin board. As we moved through the different Hospital units we were greeted by Staff that had taken care of us for almost 4 years. I had made it a point t...

Yesterday our visit went well. I learned a lot about moving a wheelchair around our home and through thresholds. Our house remodel, over the last year, was done with Kathie in mind. We have created a side patio that has turned into my retreat after work, I sit there reading the mail. While the Girls were still asleep, Kathie and I sat in the cool of the morning on that patio. She drifted off to sleep and I held her hand. Madison and Hannah seemed happy to wake up, come into the kitchen and kiss their Mom as I was making pancakes... a scene from long ago. Once we arrived at church today, Madison just couldn't go inside so she slept in the car as Hannah and I attended worship. We all experience struggles in the days before this anniversary arrives and a brunch before we visited Kathie put the Girls back to into themselves. Kathie was actively looking at us during our visit and her CNA reported that Kathie startled her with what sounded like four laughs upon her return from our visit...

Tomorrow, one day shy of five years since our accident, I will be bringing Kathie home for a visit, 9am to 3pm. Anxious and excited, I will let you know how it goes. Dave

Busy weeks, last Thursday Madison had her wisdom teeth taken out, her surgeries always make me nervous but she was done early. Soccer season is beginning for Hannah as the last weeks of Summer Vacation come to an end. Sunday, Kathie and I celebrated our 18th Wedding Anniversary, rushed by a busy day but she is still the love of my life. Care Meridian held a Luau Tuesday evening with pictures as a year-in-review disk played, I was amazed at our last year. Even more amazing was the way Kathie looked at me during the party. She moved her head and followed my movements. A treasured moment of blessing. Sunday will complete five years since our accident, the following will appear in our Church Bulletin: Today marks the 5th year since the traffic accident that injured Kathie Jones. Flowers were placed by the Jones Family in Thanksgiving for our Congregational prayers and support. Jer 29:11 “… plans to give you hope and a future.” We do live lives of a “hope and a future,” Dave & Kathie

“I will lift my eyes in the darkest night For I know my Savior lives… Last Wednesday Kathie and I went to the shopping mall. I am amazed at what I learn and experience by traveling on a field trip with her care facility. I have been working with the designers of her wheelchair and customizing the chair for her comfort and our travel. I noticed the improvements as we entered elevators and maneuvered through aisles. I purchased new sunglasses for Kath, something big with “bling,” she also needed some hair bands as we are letting her hair grow longer. In the last week, I’ve she has started moving her tongue, almost sticking it out so I purchased some stick candy to rub along her tongue and stimulate her sense of taste, sour orange, peppermint and of course cotton candy. When I first let her taste the peppermint, she gave me a half smile. Many friends have commented that they can't leave comments on this site, I'm sorry, we do miss your words. … And I will walk with You, knowing Yo...

From My Utmost for His Highest, August 6: “…“Your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him” ( Matthew 6:8 ). Then why should we ask? The point of prayer is not to get answers from God, but to have perfect and complete oneness with Him. If we pray only because we want answers, we will become irritated and angry with God. We receive an answer every time we pray, but it does not always come in the way we expect, and our spiritual irritation shows our refusal to identify ourselves truly with our Lord in prayer…” I went to see Kathie twice yesterday, at Noon she was back in bed, possibly with a fever, she definitely felt warm. After work, no one was home so I went back to see her and she seemed very comfortable. When I don’t have scheduled “things to do,” I end up sitting by Kathie’s bedside. I am limited to just sitting with her and rubbing her head sometimes, no achievable goals but she seems to appreciate the company I bring. As the evening gets later, I still find ...

The verse in her room today is John 14:27 KJV: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” I am always caught in the moment, reading such a verse and I have to breakdown each phrase. She sits in her wheelchair looking at me as I read… then I give her a kiss. Kathie’s care facility has been wonderful; on August 7 we will have been at Care Meridian for a year. I went back in the 2009 Archives and read about the move and the days leading up to that move. I am still in contact with Sharp Coronado and in August or September, Kath and I will be visiting the sub-acute staff and nurses who took such good care of her. I continue to visit Kathie five or six times-a-week, always trying to balance my time between the Girls, work and Kathie. I have learned so much in the last year and I am very pleased with Kathie care. Last week, Kathie was sleeping so soundly that not even running my finger...

Do not fret— it only causes harm —Psalm 37:8 “… Have you been propping up that foolish soul of yours with the idea that your circumstances are too much for God to handle? Set all your opinions and speculations aside and “abide under the shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1). Deliberately tell God that you will not fret about whatever concerns you. All our fretting and worrying is caused by planning without God.” My Utmost for His Highest, July 4. The Girls are out of school and summer is in full swing. Madison, Hannah and I hosted a family BBQ on the 4th of July, Hannah took the lead and sounded like Kathie as she gave directions and adjusted chairs. That morning Hannah and I ran in the community fun run and 10k, I thought back to four years ago on the 4th when I ran with Madison. 10 months before she was in a wheelchair recovering from the accident. Recently in gymnastics she completed a round off back tuck flying head height to her instructor. Madison is happy to tumble and does not s...

Kathie and I went to the SD County Fair last Thursday. Under the mysteries of God, we bumped into two of our neighbors and three people from Church, all who haven't seen Kathie since the accident. I don't understand the reasoning of God, I just know there aren't any coincidences in His plan. We had a very nice day and I was torn, missing her as I drove home. Sunday the Girls gave me a framed picture of the three of us last Christmas, we had brunch with my parents then visited Kathie. Father’s Day weekend is a strange mix of celebration and emptiness. Genesis 18:12 “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” It isn’t easy, this life, I remember to let God carry me through the painful days and know that someday I will see the Plan unfold. Dave

On June 5, 2006, I wrote, “9 months,” in my devotional booklet, My Utmost for His Highest. The June 5 reading is entitled God’s Assurance and this reading has four different highlights and black pen marks. “He Himself has said . . . . So we may boldly say . . . —Hebrews 13:5-6. My assurance is to be built upon God’s assurance to me. God says, “I will never leave you,” so that then I “may boldly say, ’The Lord is my helper; I will not fear’ ” (Hebrews 13:5-6). In other words, I will not be obsessed with apprehension. This does not mean that I will not be tempted to fear, but I will remember God’s words of assurance. I will be full of courage, like a child who strives to reach the standard his father has set for him…” Kathie’s throat is healing and she continues to relearn to breathe using her mouth and nose. This project in her care, has achieved our overall focus of adding to her comfort. God has blessed us with a positive answer to this prayer. Saturday night Madison attended a High ...

Yesterday Kathie and I went on a fieldtrip to Seaport Village, beautiful day for a stroll through the grounds next to San Diego Bay. I have been working on a new manual wheelchair for her since last August, it arrived Wednesday and we were able to take it for a test drive. It is emerald green, custom fitted and very impressive, we will have some minor adjustments made and she will be set. Today she has the stitches removed from her throat surgery last week; the Care Meridian Staff are very impressed with the sounds she is making. I found a knot in her neck so as I was massaging, she started making a primal “ehh” sounds like, “yea, that’s the spot.” At this point, I am pleased with her progress, the decision to have surgery and what I am hearing from Kath. When I read past entries or I share about the new wheelchair or sounds Kathie is making I find the whole thing odd. These updates are not a “normal” conversation and not something I would expect to see on Facebook but this blog does ...

For the last four and a half years, Kathie has been breathing through her nose, mouth and stoma. She is out of practice relying on her mouth and nose only so now she is in the process of relearning to breathe without the aid of the stoma. Since the surgery, I have spent many hours encouraging her in this learning process, I am also very concerned that she benefits from the surgery and ultimately breathes as normally as possible. Today was her scheduled massage and the report I received is that she is very relaxed and comfortable. “I delight in knowing that there is something in me which must fall prostrate before God when He reveals Himself to me, and also in knowing that if I am ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God. God can do nothing for me until I recognize the limits of what is humanly possible, allowing Him to do the impossible.” May 24, Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest. Dave & Kathie

Kathie returned to Care Meridian around noon yesterday and she seems to be recovering nicely. My prayer is that the cartilage will heal and close the stoma. Thank you for your prayer support. “The Christian life is one of spiritual courage and determination lived out in our flesh,” Dave & Kathie

Kathie’s surgery went well, the surgeon was pleased and she was awake in the recovery room by 2:30 pm. She should be out of the hospital by 11 am tomorrow morning. Our prayers for a smooth procedure were answered in the affirmative and we thank God. Last night and this morning I prayed and prepared for Kathie’s surgery by reading Oswald Chambers Devotional My Utmost for His Highest, here are portions of today’s reading and the irony of the title always causes me to pay attention. “Out of the Wreck I Rise, Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? —Romans 8:35 God does not keep His child immune from trouble; He promises, “I will be with him in trouble . . .” (Psalm 91:15). It doesn’t matter how real or intense the adversities may be; nothing can ever separate him from his relationship to God. “In all these things we are more than conquerors . . .” (Romans 8:37). Paul was not referring here to imaginary things, but to things that are dangerously real. And he said we are “super-victo...