AUGUST 30,2011

I am writing you from the waiting room of an outpatient hospital while Kathie finally has a dental check-up and cleaning. One of my fears has been that Kath has had some kind of dental pain or problem and we weren’t able to detect it. I began the process of scheduling this in May of 2010, but because we were having her tracheotomy reversed, an anesthesiologist was reticent to “put her under.” As I have written in the past, everything takes longer than expected. The good news is that Kathie’s teeth are cleaned, polished and she has been checked for future care.

Since I last wrote, Madison has turned 18 years old, we had nice Birthday celebration(s) and I was amazed to think back on 18 years. She and I sat in Church and I was remembering her at a month old being baptized, she was making fun of my remembrances. This has been a summer of transitions and Kathie is in each of our minds as we celebrate a milestone. Four weeks later, Andy flew in from Seattle and joined Hannah and I as we moved Madison into a SFSU dorm. We spent 3 days moving, setting up her computer and buying a long list of necessities. She and I had spoken often about preparing to say good-bye so when the time came we moved quickly; I now have the memory of watching my little girl turn and walk back to her dorm, I am extremely proud father. Madison, Hannah and I have lived very close lives since the accident, I was nervous as she looked at living away from home but excited that she has matured and grown with a confidence that she could face this new adventure. I waited four days to call her and after the call she text me, “I loved hearing your voice. You don’t even know how much I love you and am so thankful for a daddy like you…” To maybe answer your question, yes, tears rolled down my cheek as she walked away.

Yesterday, August 29, marked our 19th Wedding Anniversary, my prayer since the accident has been, “God show me how best to love Kathie.” When I returned from being away from her in San Francisco, she was sitting in her wheelchair and turned her head to the right when I said, “hey Kath,” I still get butterflies and God has blessed me with that love for my wife.

We are approaching the 6th Anniversary of our accident on September 5th but many times Labor Day afternoon is very hard for us. I watched Madison kiss her mom good-bye on a Sunday visit right before she left for college. Maddie and I will be apart this year but we will call each other. Hannah and I will visit Kathie on Sunday, Hannah still whispers in Kathie’s ear as she kisses her. I will end up at Kathie’s side both on Labor Day and the 5th, God will be there also.

Take care,

Dave

Comments

  1. Sister of TBI GuySeptember 3, 2011 at 12:46 PM

    I'm wiping tears away too....

    Jim's son just set up at college too.
    But without his dad to help. God has provided other people in his life, though. He seems happy!

    We are very close, Dave, to Jim being able to live in Pennsylvania finally. Pls pray!

    The wait for the dental care is something we have also lived thru! Very much know the patience required and then the sweet relief that Kathie has a wonderful, clean set of teeth!

    Dave, I have just read thru several insightful books on brain injury recovery stories. I'll email you the titles. I had not looked up such titles before at library, but just decided to see, and it is very much a blessing to read other caregiver's perspectives, and most amazing some "true stories" of how it feels to "be stuck" from the words of those living it in modern times.

    (some are novels, some are non-fiction)

    God bless you! I'm so glad Madison texted you like that and then you shared it with the rest of us b/c all of us parents need to share in that kind of "lift" for our efforts!!!

    Laura near Philly (with tears still streaming as I typed this whole message!!) (thanks Madison for making me smile + have happy tears!)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

June 10, 2016

The month of May was very busy. Hannah completed her freshman year at NAU and Madison graduated from SFSU! In between driving to Flagstaff and San Francisco, I completed personal goals by running a marathon and an intermediate distance triathlon. I was amazed by returning to NAU and seeing Hannah and her roommate are "all grown up." They were just out of high school last September, now they move, talk and plan like young adults. The role of dads didn't change since last September: find a close parking spot and begin loading the accumulated clothing and dorm furniture in the car. Likewise, Madison is so knowledgeable about transportation around SF, plus she has matured into a young woman who moves confidently. My Dad and I moved her out of the dorm at the end of her freshman year and we enjoyed seeing some of her same friends graduating with her. Over the last few years, as I wasn't needed as a driver, I started running in the afternoons after work. In my 20'...
Read more

DECEMBER 13, 2010

Last Monday, Kathie and I went to the Shopping Mall, this was the second year since our accident I have been able to Christmas shop with her. She seemed interested in the lights, sounds and being out in public. As we have experienced on other trips, people stare or bumping into her chair with an occasional person who gives us a smile. I know the elevators that work best for a wheelchair and how to ask stores to hold packages so everything isn't attached to her chair. She seemed to enjoy the small tastes of soda I gave her at lunch. I put my finger over the end of a drinking straw and allow a very small amount onto her tongue. I was blessed by our time together. Blessings, Dave & Kathie
Read more

OCTOBER 1, 2010

Here is my much underlined quote from My Utmost for His Highest, "We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life— those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength." Madison is visiting two colleges this weekend, Hannah received school awards at an assembly yesterday and both are settling into school. I attended their Back to School Nights, met teachers and said hello to friends, many we've known since the girls were in Kindergarten. Recently I have scheduled my time to help with Kathie's evening whirlpool bath. Aside from turning on the water-jets and spraying water all over the room, into her face and generally creating pandemonium, I am learning this facet of her care. She calmly gave me a look as if to say, "this is supposed to be relaxing." Kath enjoys the massage as I wash her ha...
Read more