July 17, 2020
The Covid era updates:
The really good news last week was, I could visit Kathie! I was limited to 1 hour visits (which I pushed to longer visits). I was also limited to only 2 visits that week. I don't have to talk through the whole "time limit," the Director knows what I am going to say, so I try to do the opposite and not speak of that. By the way, this has been my continuing theme when I deal with most people concerning Kathie. Do the opposite of what I feel. Staff(s) are used to emotional anger and lashing out, I try to give calm fact-related discussions (or arguments) to my points. I am Kathie's ultimate representative and responsible for whatever care, so I bear that burden whether I'm at her bedside or watching her on the Kath-cam. Because I had to make an appointment to visit, I had no idea if Kathie would be awake or asleep. The first visit she was asleep! So I continue prodding and speaking loudly and finally woke her up... in my care-opinion, yes this was the correct way to handle the situation.
When I visit Kathie I am now called a "support person" not a visitor. Visitors are not allowed in care facilities in California. I was allowed to visit Kathie in her room, I closed the door and began updating her on our children and grandchildren, always trying to stay in her vision. I rub her neck and head while letting her know that the gray hair that blend into her blond hair only make her more beautiful in my eyes. She knows that despite my absence for 110 days, she is loved with all my heart.
The bad news is that the window for Support Persons was closed down as California tightened restrictions. Then she also needed to be moved from her room so staff could monitor closely another patient. Calm fact-related discussions (not argument) have ensued. She is comfortable in her new room and evaluations for a return to her original room (with her swivel tv) are in progress. Her health is very good, her skin is perfect, she continues to be relaxed and peaceful.
Because of our circumstances, I have become a person that friends call on when dealing with hospitals and care facilities. I was recently able to help my long time neighbor couple. He needed to move to a memory care facility and she needed support. I love this couple and by God's grace, I was allowed to help both receive care and respite. Over these years, God has used Kathie and my relationship for His good. I recognize that in the pain, God continues to "engineer our circumstances."
I'm sorry I haven't written in the last month and a half, and I recognize that your prayers continue to sustain our journey.
Blessings,
Dave & Kathie
The really good news last week was, I could visit Kathie! I was limited to 1 hour visits (which I pushed to longer visits). I was also limited to only 2 visits that week. I don't have to talk through the whole "time limit," the Director knows what I am going to say, so I try to do the opposite and not speak of that. By the way, this has been my continuing theme when I deal with most people concerning Kathie. Do the opposite of what I feel. Staff(s) are used to emotional anger and lashing out, I try to give calm fact-related discussions (or arguments) to my points. I am Kathie's ultimate representative and responsible for whatever care, so I bear that burden whether I'm at her bedside or watching her on the Kath-cam. Because I had to make an appointment to visit, I had no idea if Kathie would be awake or asleep. The first visit she was asleep! So I continue prodding and speaking loudly and finally woke her up... in my care-opinion, yes this was the correct way to handle the situation.
When I visit Kathie I am now called a "support person" not a visitor. Visitors are not allowed in care facilities in California. I was allowed to visit Kathie in her room, I closed the door and began updating her on our children and grandchildren, always trying to stay in her vision. I rub her neck and head while letting her know that the gray hair that blend into her blond hair only make her more beautiful in my eyes. She knows that despite my absence for 110 days, she is loved with all my heart.
The bad news is that the window for Support Persons was closed down as California tightened restrictions. Then she also needed to be moved from her room so staff could monitor closely another patient. Calm fact-related discussions (not argument) have ensued. She is comfortable in her new room and evaluations for a return to her original room (with her swivel tv) are in progress. Her health is very good, her skin is perfect, she continues to be relaxed and peaceful.
Because of our circumstances, I have become a person that friends call on when dealing with hospitals and care facilities. I was recently able to help my long time neighbor couple. He needed to move to a memory care facility and she needed support. I love this couple and by God's grace, I was allowed to help both receive care and respite. Over these years, God has used Kathie and my relationship for His good. I recognize that in the pain, God continues to "engineer our circumstances."
I'm sorry I haven't written in the last month and a half, and I recognize that your prayers continue to sustain our journey.
Blessings,
Dave & Kathie
You are such an awesome advocate for Kathy!
ReplyDeleteThank you Clariece.
ReplyDeleteYour words in the months after accident, helped me not to be defined by the accident. Something to the affect of, "you are a person who was in an accident, not a product of the accident." Close, but I've remembered to watch how I define my life and that is evident in my life and the lives of our children. Kathie is comfortable and I will be able to hold her again someday.
ReplyDelete